Dude that vid is hilARious and Brian Johannsen is hott!
Unoriginable
Oct 09, 2008 5:50 PM
Animo is kicking ass again! The video is hilarious!
Crance
Oct 09, 2008 5:17 PM
i think this video is rad!
The Pirate
Oct 09, 2008 6:02 PM
Wait wait, Crance. You think? What's holding you back? Or did you mean that you know it's rad? I'm just confused by your comment, that's all. Let me know when the final verdict is in!
Oct 09, 2008 4:36 PM
meh, i'm not one to knock a band's hard work but i can't help but feel a kinda blink182 meets the freecreditreport. com band vibe going on with this one....
rockfan
Oct 03, 2008 1:07 PM
Great review of the Urgency show at the viper room on Tuesday. Those guys were AWESOME.
Dave, Dave, Dave. How could you? The white boys' integration into the black man's world. The peace offering for college dipshits either looking to hang with some jacked bros or trying to get in the pants of some eager pre-fresh.
Liking Dave Matthews is like eating vanilla yogurt. It's like smoking Parliament cigarettes. Your free admission into the United Nations of jock rock. It's a one stop shop to cover all your bases as far as: Do you know any ethnic people? Do you listen to any ethnic music (Carlos Santana not included)? Would you ever give money to someone of a different race?
Dave better watch out. Harold and Kumar are closing in on his college love fest. One of my nieces went to a Dave Matthews concert and lost her shoe. She spent the whole day wandering around Randalls Island with her foot in a plastic bag. Why would anyone stay at a show under those circumstances? Then I saw her Facebook photos. Drunk high school kids as far as the eye could see. Pre-pubescent teens wearing pooka shells and white hats, arm and arm with the high school hottie they've been eyeing in math class. Dave is like a sex Twix bar for these dudes. The chicks are all moved by how pc everything is, "Sure I'll suck this nerds dick, it will cure world famine. After all, Dave Matthews has taught me that we can all be different but still get fucked up together." A handjob at school - out of the question. One at a Dave Matthews show - They give those fuckers out at the ticket gate.
So I'm starting to see why people go the show. An unabashed sex fest of people fucking for the greater good. But then, why do they buy the record? Simple. So the guy has something to play in his bedroom when he brings that elusive chick home and knows his knowledge solely of lacrosse won't get him to third base. When in doubt, "crash into me". Watch out. You may lose an eye when those panties fly off at record speed.
But why does it work like that? Why is Dave the only one that can exude all of these characteristics?
It's because he is so easily digestible with just a hint of cumen and cilantro that anyone can accept it. Like I said before, play Dave and you can cover all your bases. Want to avoid getting beat up at a pick up basketball game? Wear a Dave shirt. Want to be elected class president? Wear a Dave shirt. Can't get that home mortgage? You guessed it.
But Hater you say, "Isn't Dave a drug addict?" "Will I become a drug addict just by listening to him?" Hmmmm... I think he was but, in the end that won't rub off on you. You wont be a druggie, just an utter A-hole. Besides, these jocks don't care. They're all on coke anyway and if it takes a little blow to get everyone in the mood to fuck like pigs then so be it.
Look, I could go on and on about hating the music. About how is voice oh so drones over lines so disinteresting he makes Anthony Bordain seem captivating. And all that motherfucker is talking about is food for Christ's sake. I could talk about how live you can't hear an ounce of guitar or bass, just a rudiment clinic over lyrics. Does that drummer even know he has a band to listen to? Or I could harp on the dude with the dreads. Of course there is a dude with dreads. You can't cater to the playful Jamaican market if you don't have at least one dude partially rhasta. The man who made the violin cool. Sure. Any of these jocks so much has pick up a violin and the god of pussy will smite them. So it's OK to watch but not imitate.
Are you smarter for listening to Dave? You'll think so. Are you nicer for listening to Dave? You'll think so. But remember, the next day when you are in the locker room ready to pounce on Jimmy Wilson with his 5'2 frame and Spongebob briefs, you are only mad cause you have a crooked penis and that even though you may get some pussy, deep down your sister is laughing as she struggles to fein interest in a two finger game of twister.
The reality is you, and all Dave-aholics are still assholes. When the bong smoke of a Dave show washes away you are the same dick at the flip cup table getting into fights over expansion football and Will Farrel movies. Go away and take your Dave with you. If I want you I know where I'll find you. Chugging margaritas at Senor Frogs at spring break. Big surprise.
Wet T-shirt contest? Hold on brah - this cover band does a really killer version of Ants Marching.
